Popping my podcast cherry ....
I’ve never done a podcast before! I’m not at my most comfortable on video, and I am highly self critical after the event. I know I write better than I speak and I often trip over my words. But on the positive side, I know I speak with passion and honesty. I have also come to the decision that I must say what I see, what I know, without fear or restraint - because nothing will change if the majority continue to self censor.
I was delighted to speak with Zac - to talk about my work, my experience, my views. You may enjoy it, you may not. You may disagree with some of the things I say - I would be surprised if any two people are on exactly the same page as each other! Differences of opinion are good - necessary - if they can be shared and debated in a respectful manner.
So please watch if you fancy - please share your views. Except the ones about me needing to look in a mirror and brushing my hair before being video recorded …
You can watch Zac’s podcast with me here: Family Separation and Parental Alienation, with Dr Sue Whitcombe
Thank you Zac for inviting me to spend an hour or so in conversation …
Zac Fine is an integrative psychotherapist with a specialist interest in men’s issues and masculinity https://zacfine.co.uk/
May be an age thing but so much of what you shared resonated with me in this podcast. I am a mother, grandmother, was separated/estranged for 2.5 years from them all. It's only since my grandchildren went into care that we have re-connected as Mum blocked me. I agree that the current family law procedures do more harm than good & that the whole system is adversarial & traumatic to all family members having been to court 3 times, as there was nothing out there that I could find to even start trying to reconcile. My 3rd time in court was to try & keep the children within the family. As you say most therapists are concentrating on & only hearing one individual as are many social workers. Few start from looking at relationships with the child at the centre & who they want/need a relationship with to grow up 'normally' learn about relationships (good & bad) from. Aware GDPR has some good points but also scares authorities to the point where extended families are not even recognised/consulted along the way.
Your views on what I have always called 'wants & needs' were also pertinent & this appears to me to have changed drastically both with the change of the way people look at themselves individually & with the introduction of the benefits system (child benefit, child tax credits, what was Income Support/Job Seekers) that has pushed people to be able to either live without working (lose of work ethic, responsibility, have a child-get a home mentality) but also pushed other mother's out into the workplace, to me all of this has, not so slowly, but surely broken down 'the family' along wih as you so rightly discussed the fast changes in technology during our lifetime.
A great podcast with lots of food for thought, thank you both.